Sunday, August 21, 2005

 

MORE MOVIES!


Well, I saw a few more movies recently. One was the new horror movie SKELETON KEY. I'm reviewing this one with Michael Arruda for the next CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT, due out this Thursday, so I'll hold off talking about it until then.


Also saw a few new comedies. First off, there's BROKEN FLOWERS, the new movie by director Jim Jarmusch, starring Bill Murray. Murray plays an aging bachelor who receives an anonymous note telling him he has a teenage son he never knew about. His neighbor Winston (Jeffrey Wright), a mystery writer, finds the whole scenario fascinating and encourages Murray's character, Don Johnston, to visit some of his old flames and try to figure out who the mother is. Reluctantly, he goes along with, mostly because he just doesn't have much else to do. He made his money in the computer boom, and pretty much just sits around watching TV every day. So off he goes, to visit former lovers like Laura (Sharon Stone) who's a wild single mother and widow of a NASCAR driver, Dora (Frances Conroy from SIX FEET UNDER) an uptight real-estate broker, Carmen who is an "animal communicator", and Penny (Tilda Swinton) who's just plain angry.


Jarmusch is a master independent filmmaker whose previous films include the classics STRANGER THAN PARADISE, MYSTERY TRAIN, and GHOST DOG: THE WAY OF SAMURAI. For once, his movie seems slightly more mainstream, probably because of all the stars in this one, but he certainly hasn't lost his touch. BROKEN FLOWERS is through and through a quirky Jarmusch movie. Bill Murray continues his string of exceptional dramatic acting roles (after RUSHMORE and LOST IN TRANSLATION). In fact, instead of the manic characters of his early films, he's becoming a totally different persona lately - and his acting style seems to be getting more and more minimal. It's almost zen in a way how he's transformed recently. He's no longer the goofy clown from the old Saturday Night Live (not that there was anything wrong with that - he was good at whatever he did), instead he's now one of the best serious actors we've got. You don't see that kind of career change very often, and Murray deserves a lot of credit for keeping himself very relevant as his career continues. There aren't too many actors who can adapt so well to changing times. Murray is the heart and sould of BROKEN FLOWERS and he turns in another amazing performance.


Oh, and this isn't another family-friendly PG-13 film. Alexis Dziena, who plays Sharon Stone's teenage daughter Lolita (!!) in the film, has an unexpected nude scene that will knock your socks off! Murray's reaction to her in this scene is priceless.


Next up, is THE ARISTOCRATS, which is easily one of the funniest movies of the year, and all it is is a bunch of comedians telling the same joke over and over. How can this be hilarious, you ask? Well, here's the premise. There's this joke called the Aristocrats that goes all the way back to vaudeville. It's like a secret in the world of stand-up comics, and this movie brings out into the mainstream. Basically it's one of the dirtiest jokes ever. The set-up is easy. The joke always begins and ends the same way. It starts off something like "This guy goes into an agent's office and says 'I"ve got a brand new act that you have to see.' The agent asks what it is, and the guy explains it. That's the beginning. The punchline is also always the same. It's what's in the middle that changes with each comedian, as they try to come up with the disgusting, offensive and hilarious act possible for this guy and his whole family. To give you an idea how far this movie goes, it's unrated, but it would have received an NC-17 for language. Yep, that's right. There's no nudity or sex or extreme violence onscreen. There's just 30 or so comedians telling jokes. There are lots of familiar (and not so familiar) faces in the movie, as everyone gets a chance to tell their version: George Carlin, Gilbert Gottfried, Robin Williams, Whoopie Goldberg, Drew Carey, Bob Saget, Emo Phillips, Paul Provenza, Penn & Teller, Paul Reizer, Sarah Silverman, Phyllis Diller, and even old timers like Chuck McCann and Larry Storch (yeah, the guy from F-TROOP). Some people are good, some are just mediocre, but the best ones that come to mind are easily Carlin, Sarah Silverman (who is totally underrated and one of the funniest comedians around today), and of course, Gilbert Gottfried, who is the king of this joke. I was laughing almost non-stop through this movie and totally recommend it. That is - if you're not easily offended. Then again, there's bound to be something in this movie that will offend everyone. It all depends on your sense of humor. But if you can appreciate this stuff, you'll laugh your ass off.


Finally, I saw the new comedy THE 40-YEAR OLD VIRGIN starring Steve Carell (from THE DAILY SHOW and the American version of THE OFFICE) as a geek who collects action figures and has never been laid. It's directed by Judd Apatow who gave us the unforgettable TV series FREAKS AND GEEKS (a show that totally got fucked over and was canceled way too soon), and there's a lot of laughs in this one. Carell is perfect as Andy Stitzer, a total nerd who is terrified of women. His buddies at work find out and try to get him laid. The cast is pretty strong with Seth Rogan (from Apatow's TV shows FREAKS AND GEEKS and UNDECLARED), Paul Rudd and Romany Malco as his good-intentioned buddies. There's also Jane Lynch as his predatory boss who suddenly gets very interested in Andy when she finds out he's a virgin (she even suggests at one point that they become "Fuck buddies"), Elizabeth Banks as Beth, an alcholic wild woman who Andy meets in a bar, and Catherine Keener (from BEING JOHN MALKOVICH and YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS) as a divorced single mother who falls in love with Andy. The concept of this movie and the jokes are hilarious, and Carell shows that he can be a leading man. You'll laugh a lot at this one.


On cable, I also saw RAY this past week, starring Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles. I wanted to see this one sooner, because I was really curious to see how good a job Foxx does in the role. Well, he's really good in it, and for the most part he deserved the praise he got, although I'm not sure if he was the best performance of last year (Foxx received an Oscar for RAY). Charles led a really interesting life, but I thought the script could have been a little stronger (it seemed like your typical biopic in a lot of ways, and I wanted something more). A good movie, and worth checking out. But for some reason I thought it would be even better.


Oh well, that's all for now. No horror this time around, but I'm sure that will change soon. Until next time....


INFERNALLY YOURS,


LLS


Sunday, August 07, 2005

 

LAURA GETS MENTIONED IN YEAR'S BEST!


Well, the big news this week is that the new Eighteenth Edition of THE YEAR'S BEST FANTASY & HORROR came out. This time it's edited by Ellen Datlow, Kelly Link and Gavin J. Grant. Whenever YEAR'S BEST comes out, it's always exciting for us horror writers to check and see if any of our stories got mentioned.


This year, I didn't get mentioned, but my wife, Laura Cooney, received an Honorable Mention for her story, "Number 808," which originally appeared in the magazine LULLABY HEARSE # 5. This is really exciting news and this is the second time Laura has received an Honorable Mention (the first time was in the Sixteenth Edition for her story, "Wasps").


I'm really happy for her, and I think "Number 808" is a great story, that deserves the recognition. Congrats, Laura!


LLS


 

GODZILLA: FINAL WARS!!(includes spoilers)


Well, I finally saw FINAL WARS. It was playing for just 3 days at an art theater here. Which makes me think that chances are extremely slim that it will ever be coming to the multiplexes. Instead it will probably go straight to DVD.


So how is it? It had potential to be one of the best Godzilla movies ever. But, it drops the ball several times.


It starts off good, with Godzilla fighting a super-submarine that looks an awful lot like ATRAGON in the South Pole. They use missiles to bury Godzilla under tons of ice. And then we don't see him for another hour or so.


In the meantime, tons of different monsters start attacking different parts of the world. It's cool to see everyone from Anguirus to Rodan to more obscure monsters like King Caesar (where's Megalon?) tearing the major cities of the world apart. But then the aliens arrive......


There's this whole boring middle part involving aliens who take the monsters away and pretend to be friendly and then reveal they're here to take over (how many times has there been the same exact plot in Godzilla movies?). There are also these "mutants" who look just like regular people and dress like Power Rangers who have been bred on Earth to fight monsters. Not sure how, since they're just regular-sized people. But they have lots of technology. The mutants duke it out with the aliens. This goes on for a long time and looks a lot like outtakes from THE MATRIX. I almost nodded off a few times during this long and boring middle part. The only interesting "human" character is the captain of the Atragon ship who looks like pro-wrestler Jesse Ventura and is always shouting orders.


At the end (maybe the last half hour) Godzilla comes back and the aliens throw every monster they can at him. This was the whole reason why I went to see this movie and it sure took a long time to get there. The most hilarious scene involves the real Godzilla fighting the version from the (awful) American movie. They call that Godzilla ripoff another name here. Let's just say, the fight lasts about two minutes. LOL.


There's even a return of Minya, who they call Minilla here. He's as goofy as the old days, but I thought he looked a lot better back in the 70's. He looks like a big rubber Barney here.


Typical Godzilla movie. The monster fight stuff is good, but the human/alien storyline is boring as hell. The movie is over 2 hours long, and at least an hour of that is the crap stuff. If I get this on DVD I'll probably fast forward through a lot of that.


The fights are good, but mostly seem too short. Like they were rushed.


Not the best Godzilla movie, although it had potential to be. Kind of like a remake of DESTROY ALL MONSTERS. I just wish they'd gotten rid of the human storyline completely and focused on tons of fights.


The guy who directed this also directed the famous Japanese flick VERSUS, where humans fight zombies. That one also started out good and seemed to go on forever until I was bored out of my mind. I just think this guy is in desperate need of a film editor.


Sayonara until next time.


Infernally Yours,


LLS


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