Tuesday, January 31, 2006
NEW ISSUE OF HORROR GARAGE SHIPPING NOW!
After some shitty past few weeks, got a nice surprise today when I found out that the new issue of HORROR GARAGE (# 11) is shipping now! This is the issue that features my new story, "The No! Place." Man, that was fast! I have to admit, I didn't expect it to come out so soon, and this really cheered me up a lot. HORROR GARAGE is a great magazine and should be available in some regular bookstores, online stores and directly from Horror Garage themselves. Check out the cool cover here.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
GOT THE FLU
I keep telling myself this year has to get better. Not only did we have a fire in our building this January, and we're still dealing with the aftermath (everything is in boxes and it's taking forever to reorganize it all). On top of that I got the flu two days ago. The thing is - this shouldn't be happening - I got a flu shot this year!
But it sure seems like the flu to me. Aches and pains everywhere (feels like someone went over me with a tire iron), chills, sweating, fever. It hurts to move at all. Today was the first time since this began that I was able to get out of bed for any length of time instead of being curled up in a big sweaty ball. But even that didn't last long. After a couple of hours my energy waned. I just hope I'm better by Monday.
I can't believe this. I finally decide to get the flu shot because it was free from work, and this is the year that I get the flu! It's just fuckin insane.
I wish Feburary would get here already. January has been one of the suckiest months in my life.
Til next time..
LLS
Sunday, January 15, 2006
BEST MUSIC OF 2005
Unlike movies, I won't be going as in-depth here.But just wanted to mention some albums I thought were really great:
NUMBER ONE: TWIN CINEMA by The New Pornographers - easily my favorite album of the year. I must have listened to this one about a thousand times in 2005. Also saw them in concert. I cannot praise this album enough.
NUMBER TWO: ODDITORIUM OR THE WARLORDS OF MARS by The Dandy Warhols- I fucking love this band. Everyone gave this album a bad review. I listen to it constantly. And the song "Love is the New Feel Awful" kicks ass.
NUMBER THREE - SEIG HOWDY! by Jello Biafra and the Melvins - this album took me back to the glory days of the Dead Kennedys before the bandmembers had squabbles about whether to use "Holiday in Cambodia" for a jeans ad, and before Jello Biafra, the heart and soul of the band, was kicked out so the DK's could hire Brandon Cruise (the kid from the old tv show "Courtship of Eddie's Father"!!) to replace him. Jello has been doing a lot of collaborations (most notably with Al Jourgensne of MINISTRY) and solo projects, but this one might be the best post-Dead Kennedy's thing he's done. The Melvins are a solid band and sound just as good as the DK's in their prime. And Jello gets to cut loose with the political lyrics while the Melvins do the same music-wise. An excellent album that even has a new version of the DK's standard "California Uber Alles" this time about Governer Schwartzenegger! Punk rock lives again!
NUMBER FOUR - PLANS by Death Cab for Cutie - another band I love. I don't think this one was as strong as their last album, TRANSATLANTICISM, but it's definitely worth picking up. And "Soul Meets Body" is a great single.
NUMBER FIVE - SILENT ALARM by Bloc Party - the "Gang of Four" comparisons not withstanding, this was a solid little debut album. I dig it.
NUMBER SIX - GET BEHIND ME SATAN by the White Stripes - another rock sledgehammer of an album from the terrible twosome. And man, were they great in concert!
NUMBER SEVEN - EXTRAORDINARY MACHINE by Fiona Apple. The comback album of the year from one of the best singers we've got.
NUMBER EIGHT - FUNERAL by The Arcade Fire - I'm not sure if this counts as 2005. Unlike movies, it ain't so easy to figure out what came out in 2005 music-wise, unless I dig up all my cd's, which ain't gonna happen today. All I know is I got into this band and album in 2005. Good enough for me.
NUMBER NINE - BLUEBERRY BOAT by the Fiery Furanaces - ditto.
NUMBER TEN - Z by My Morning Jacket - maybe the most hyped album of the year, with everyone calling My Morning Jacket the American Radiohead and all kinds of weird shit. But it's good stuff.
BEST CONCERTS OF 2005
1) GANG OF FOUR - The original lineup, one of the most amazing concerts I have ever seen. Nobody else comes close in 2005.
2) NINE INCH NAILS - I actually have never seen Trent and Co. before in concert. Now I regret not seeing previous shows. Because they were terrific live. And another band I love, QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, were their opening act. How cool is that?
3) THE WHITE STRIPES - It's amazing that two people can create such a wall of sound. I liked them in concert even more than on CD. The White Stripes rule!
4) THE DANDY WARHOLS - everyone loves to hate these guys, but I'm a hardcore fan. Excellent live, even if they did have to perform in a teeny weeny club in Boston.
5) THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS - Maybe not the most amazing live band in the world, but they did almost all the songs from TWIN CINEMA, and I was in heaven for an hour or so. I love this fucking band.
6) FIONA APPLE - Sure, she seems awkward on stage, dancing spastically as she sings. But what pipes! The fact that she's awkward just makes me love her more. And her new album was the comeback of the year.
7) DRESDEN DOLLS - great Boston punk/cabaret act put on a terrific Halloween show. Including some excellent songs from their new upcoming album.
As a certain pig would say, "That's All Folks" for 2005 Lists. NOW - ON TO 2006!!
THE BEST MOVIES OF 2005
Like the pizza box says, "You tried the rest, now try the best." Every critic in the world is putting out their top ten lists right now. So what the fuck? Might as well add my own two cents worth here. So let's get on with it, okay? And we'll even go backwards like David Letterman does, to build up the suspense. Although anyone who knows me won't be suprised by the top two on this list.
NUMBER TEN: (TIE) WOLF CREEK and WAR OF THE WORLDS
I can't think of two more different movies. But they both had some real strengths. WOLF CREEK is a little movie from Australia about a serial killer in the outback. It got lots of attention for being some kind of shocking journey into brutality, but that aspect of it was underwhelming for me. I've seen a lot worse in other movies. What got me on this one was the way the three victims were fleshed out so well - you really care about them - and nothing bad happens to them until after an hour of the movie has gone by, so you've had a lot of time to get to know to know them. And it makes the bad stuff all the more powerful (Hollywood hacks take note). The killer, a kind of psycho "Crocodile Dundee" played by John Jarratt, was extremely effective, but I think the three leads, (Cassandra Magrath, Nathan Phillips and Kestie Morassi) are just as crucial to the film. The atmosphere of the outback is a character too, and its isolation and foreboding add a lot to this film. When I first saw WOLF CREEK, I had a mixed reaction to it, but it's been haunting me since, and I think if a movie stays with you afterwards, in this age of fast food cinema, then it deserves some kind of mention.
WAR OF THE WORLDS - it's flawed, it's got Tom Cruise in it, and it's directed by Spielberg, maybe the most overrated director on the planet. But it's also one helluva thrill ride and the aliens are actually scary! Until they come out of their spaceships, that is. A more faithful version of H.G. Wells's book than the 60's movie version with Gene Barry (which is still a classic). This was one of the rare times when I thought the remake was just as good if not better than the original. Once again the use of atmosphere to generate mood is strong in WAR OF THE WORLDS. And I liked it a lot despite all of its weaknesses.
NUMBER NINE: THE 40-YEAR OLD VIRGIN
A silly comedy about a 40 year old geek who collects action figures and has never been laid. Sure. But it's also one of the funniest movies of the year. With a great star-making performance by Steve Carrell, and great direction by tv veteran Judd Apatow (who created one of my all-time favorite shows FREAKS AND GEEKS, maybe the best show ever about high school). This movie has lots of laughs and plenty of heart. Even if it does kind of drop the ball at the end and wallow in a bit of sappiness (is that mandatory in Hollywood?). A really fun movie.
NUMBER EIGHT: (TIE) PALINDROMES and SERENITY
Two more movies that couldn't be more different.
PALINDROMES - I've got a weak spot for Todd Solondz movies and he doesn't disappoint with his new one. It's about a teenager who gets pregnant and wants to keep the baby so she runs away from home and gets into all kinds of weird adventures involving truckers, born-again Christians and a family of special needs kids. As usual, there's plenty here to offend everyone, but also a real sense of heart. Solondz doesn't make easy movies, and this one has a sometimes-annoying gimmick of having the lead character played by several actors throughout the movie, from teenage girls (both black and white) to a middle-aged woman to even a boy. But somehow it works. Not Solondz's best work (you'd have to rent WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE or HAPPINESS for that), but a thought-provoking and button-pushing film that doesn't disappoint TS's fans.
SERENITY -I didn't love the TV show it's based on (Firefly), but I still have to give that another chance on DVD. The movie, though, is terrific. Joss Whedon (who also created BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and ANGEL) finally gets to be a director on the big screen and his cowboys in outer space thing works a lot better there. With a strong sense of humor, this movie was a helluva lot more fun than George Lucas's latest Star Wars epic, REVENGE OF THE SITH, and shows Mr. Lucas that you don't have to take yourself so fucking serously to turn out a great sci-fi movie.
NUMBER SEVEN: BROKEN FLOWERS
In BROKEN FLOWERS, Billy Murray continues his streak of quirky dramatic indie films, this time teaming up with legendary director Jim Jarmusch to turn out a great little film about a confirmed bachelor who finds out late in life that he may have a kid he didn't know about, when he gets an anonymous letter from someone he used to be involved with. He just doesn't know who. So he goes about visiting a bunch of old girlfriends to find out. There are tons of great performances here from Sharon Stone as a wild spirit with an equally wild teenage daughter (played by Alexis Dziena, now on ABC's INVASION), to Frances Conroy (of Six Feet Under) as an uptight real estate agent to Tilda Swinton as the one old girlfriend who still holds a grudge(and married to Larry Fessenden, no less!). Murray turns in yet another Oscar-worthy performance here, and Jarmusch shows he's never lost his chops.
NUMBER SIX: (TIE) MYSTERIOUS SKIN and DOMINO
In MYSTERIOUS SKIN indie director Greg Araki makes his most mainstream film so far, and it's still weird as hell. It's about two guys who are molested as kids. One grows up to become a hustler, the other one has blocked it out and is convinced he was abducted by aliens as a kid. The two come to grips with what happened to them and then pay a little visit to the baseball coach who traumatized them years before. A strong film from Araki that deserved a lot more attention than it got. Of course, like PALINDROMES, it's challenging cinema. It also came out earlier in the year and so pretty much gets forgotten when people write their BEST OF lists. If you like this one, also check out Araki's earlier films, The Living End, and his best so far, THE DOOM GENERATION.
DOMINO - everyone seemed to hate this movie, but I loved it. Tony Scott follows up his terrific flick MAN ON FIRE , with this cinematic TNT starring Kiera Knightley as real-life model-turned bounty hunter Domino Harvey and Mickey Rourke (still riding high on his SIN CITY comeback) plays her mentor. Sure this movie plays fast and loose with Domino's life (what Hollywood biopic doesn't?) But I absolutely dug this flick and thought Knightley was a fucking angel in a scene where she fires two automatic weapons at the same time to get out of a tight spot. Totally insane! One of the hottest actresses we have right now. I have no idea why nobody else seemed to dig this movie. I loved it.
NUMBER FIVE: LAND OF THE DEAD
A new zombie movie by the man who started it all, George A. Romero. This one got a real mixed reaction when it came out. A lot of the die-hard fans loved it, and an equal amount hated it. Probably because it wasn't an epic like DAWN OF THE DEAD. Sure, we waited a long time for this one, and it's a minor Romero effort compared to his past DEAD films, but I loved it just the same, and, for what it is, it's a great little flick about what's been happening since DAY OF THE DEAD in Romero's future where zombies have taken over the earth, and a small human population tries to deal with it. With Dennis Hopper as a crazed mogul who runs the only running high-rise luxury hotel in town, and who provides some comic relief, along with John Leguizamo and the always super-cool ASIA ARGENTO (imagine that, a Romero zombie flick with stars!). Frankly, it was great to see the master at work again, and this movie had tons of little Romero quirks and details to keep me happy. I think this movie is going to get more respect as time goes on. Unfortunately, since it didn't do that great at the box office, it may be a long time before Romero's next DEAD flick.
NUMBER FOUR: THE ARISTOCRATS
The funniest movie of the year, as about two dozen comedians sit before a camera and tell their own version of the dirtiest joke ever told. The biggest highlights for me were the always amazing Gilbert Gottfried and America's foul-mouthed sweetheart Sarah Silverman. But the whole thing is terrific and worth checking out, as long as you don't get offended too easily. The only movie of the year to get an NC-17 rating for language! And it earns it.
NUMBER THREE: A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
Viggo Mortensen is Tom Stall, a guy living in a small town, trying to live his life. Then one day two psycho robbers come into his diner and he has to kill them. All of a sudden all eyes and cameras are on this guy who just wants to be left alone, and secrets about his not-so-innocent past start coming out. And his family starts to wonder if maybe they've been living with a stranger all these years. With solid performances throughout, including Ed Harris as a sinister guy who comes for a visit after Tom appears on the news, Maria Bello as his passionate wife, Ashton Holmes as his confused son, and a scene-stealing cameo by William Hurt. Directed with skill by David Cronenberg, one of the best directors we've got, in his most mainstream flick yet. A terrific movie.
NUMBER TWO: SIN CITY
The best comic book adaptation so far, bringing Frank Miller's ultra-violent noir world to the big screen, with help from co-director Robert Rodriguez (who made it all happen). This movie looks and feels like Miller's comic book, at times approaching high art. The violence is just a pure rollercoaster ride. And the performances are spot-on, especially Mickey Rourke in the comeback role of the year as Marv, a hulking psychotic out for revenge, who just won't die no matter what you do to him. I'd go so far as to say this one is a masterpiece. If you haven't seen it yet - what the fuck are you waiting for?
AND NUMBER ONE (drum roll please)..
THE DEVIL'S REJECTS
I was sure that no movie was going to beat out SIN CITY on this list, but Rob Zombie had to go and make a sequel to HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES that blew his first movie away. This one has got everything: amazing performances, gore, violence, humor and all the tutti fuckin frutti you can eat! I loved this movie from beginning to end and found myself cheering inside when it was over. Not just the best horror movie of 2005, but the best movie, period. Rob Zombie shows he is the man. And the acting - especially Sid Haig, Sherri Moon and Bill Moseley as the Rejects themselves and William Forsythe as Sheriff Rydell, the angry hand of vengeance out to wipe the three psycho leads off the face of the earth - is so great you don't want the fuckin movie to end. Full of a 70's sensibility that reminds you how great movies used to be. And not one bad moment. No way this wouldn't be Number One.
HONORABLE MENTIONS, include: A TALE OF TWO SISTERS and OLD BOY - two great Asian horror flicks (well, OLD BOY is more of a revenge flick) that I saw in 2005 in theaters but which probably don't apply since they were made before then. I know - it's my list and I can whatever I want. They probably would have made my top 10. But there's already enought ties up there. JESUS IS MAGIC - Sarah Silverman's solo movie of her stand-up act, mixed with sketches and music. I liked it a lot, but not enough to make the Top 10. Her part in the ARISTOCRATS is actually funnier. Miranda July's ME YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW,a quirky mix of comedy and drama about several characters including July (in her directorial debut) as a performance artist trying to find her place in the world. Also featuring John Hawkes from HBO's DEADWOOD. Definitely worth checking out. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, which probably belongs on the list above somewhere. Picture this: the one person you love in the world is the one person you can never be with. Now multiply that by years of longing. It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight. This movie speaks to everyone if you let it. I have a feeling if I see it again sometime it will haunt me even more.
Well, that's all for the movies of 2005. 2006 has already started with a bang with Eli Roth's HOSTEL, which just migh tbe the subject of the first CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT of 2006 (more on that as it develops).
Until next time, boys and girls, this is old Uncle LL staying INFERNALLY YOURS.
LLS
GETTING BACK TO NORMAL
Well, things are slowly (very slowly) getting back to normal here. It's amazing how much a fire in your building can fuck up your life. Luckily no one was hurt, but man, it sure is one gigantic headache.
Instead of whining about that, though, I thought I'd catch up on some movies I saw over the past few weeks, and then head off to the BEST OF 2005 lists that I do here every year. So here goes.
CINDERELLA MAN
I have never been much of a fan of Ron Howard's movies. The guy has ability, but he's not really strong when it comes to creativity, and frankly, all his movies have a kind of bland wholesomeness to them that just turns me off. CINDERELLA MAN is definitely one of his better films, but suffers from the same kinds of problems I have with all his work.
As most people already know, CINDERELLA MAN is about James Braddock, a boxer in the 20's and 30's who fell upon hard times during the Great Depression, when he lost his job boxing (because of injuries that weren't treated correctly and lackluster performance) and had to find other ways to support his family during extremely tough times. He gets a second chance to redeem himself when a chance comes up to fight a heavyweight contender when the guy's original opponent bows out. Braddock takes this opportunity hungrily and shows he still has plenty left to give. Living a hard life as a regular joe during the Depression definitely puts some fire in his belly. He wins the bout, and goes all the way to the Heavyweight Championship, versus Max Baer, who was notorious for actually killing a man in the ring. Everyone tries to scare Braddock off, but he goes all the way.
If you think about it, this is like the human version of SEABISCUIT. An underdog during the Depression who got the country excited again by rising up from the ashes like a phoenix. I have no problem with the story of CINDERELLA MAN. Russell Crowe is perfect as Braddock and turns in some typically solid acting. Rene Zellwegger is as annoying as usual as his wife (she always seems to be sucking a lemon or something - I have no idea how she has become such a huge star). And Paul Giamatti (the star of SIDEWAYS) turns in another solid performance as Braddock's manager. It's a good story, and Howard tells it well (I liked this movie a lot more than the overrated A BEATIFUL MIND). But there is a streak of blandness that runs through the whole thing. It could easily have been a TV movie, and I've seen HBO TV-movies that were just as good. It's just servicable. And frankly, I want more from a movie.
There's also been some controversy over the portrayal of Max Baer (the father of Max Baer, Jr., who you might know better as Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies!). In the movie he's shown to be something of an animal who actually enjoys killing guys in the ring. In real life, Baer was supposedly very disturbed by what happened and regretted taking a human life. But I guess you have to make your movie's villian extra villianous to make the final victory all that sweeter. They're saying that CINDERLLA MAN didn't do well at the box office because we'd just had a big boxing movie a few months before it, with MILLION DOLLAR BABY. But the truth is, Clint Eastwood is a much more powerful filmmaker than Ron Howard.
Basically, as far as CINDERELLA MAN goes, it's worth checking out. It's probably Ron Howard's best movie so far. But it's no materpiece.
WALK THE LINE
Had pretty much the same problem with WALK THE LINE. Why do all biopics seem to be exactly the same? They don't have to be. There's also a real reluctance in most of these films to really show a negative side of the person they're eulogizing. You see some bad behavior, but never anything too bad that might turn some people against the subject. Which is too bad, because when someone really takes that risk, such as the Ty Cobb movie COBB, you get something a lot more satisfying.
I'm sure Johnny Cash had some skeletons in his closet that we don't see in WALK THE LINE. Which is too bad. Because WALK THE LINE suffers from being very similar to another recent musician biopic, RAY, about the life of Ray Charles. Both men grew dirt poor in the south. Both had brothers who died in freak accidents when they were kids. And both overcame huge obstacles to become superstars. I'm a big fan of Johnny Cash and really was hoping for more from WALK THE LINE, but after it was over, I felt like I'd just eaten an appetizer instead of a full meal.
The acting is okay. Joaquin Phoenix turns in a good performance as Cash. I haven't been much of fan of his, but he does a good job here. The normally annoying Reese Witherspoon is good here too as June Carter (Reese wasn't always annoying. Before she became a mainstream darling in crap like Legally Blonde, she was actually in some good flicks like Election and Cruel Intentions), showing that she hasn't totally lost her acting chops by appearing in endless lame-ass chick flicks. And Robert Patrick of Terminator 2 turns in a solid performance as Cash's hardass creep of a father. But the movie suffers from another streak of blandness. I don't pay $10 a ticket to go see what are essentially TV movies. I want more for my money. And WALK THE LINE could easily have been a movie of the week. It's got no grit, no balls. It's just a generic re-telling of a great man's life, in the safest way possible. You have to blame this on director James Mangold, which is a shame, because the guy started out strong with movies like HEAVY and COP LAND. It's too bad he didn't bring more personality and fire to this story about one of the most volatile men in music.
I actually think RAY was the better movie, although I'm a bigger fan of Cash's music. If you're going to check out WALK THE LINE, wait for it to come out on cable or DVD. There is no reason to rush to see this one. I didn't.
FOUR BROTHERS
The less said about this film the better. John Singleton used to direct amazing movies like BOYZ N THE HOOD and the underrated ROSEWOOD. He was a filmmaker whose new movie you'd want to seek out. But something happened. After his good movies seemed to come out irregularly (maybe due to funding), he went Hollywood and started making the most mainstream crap he could. Stuff like the Fast and Furious sequel 2 Fast 2 Furious, the horrible SHAFT remake (how can you go wrong with John Shaft and Samuel L. Jackson?) and now this.
The plot's basic. There's this old white woman in the ghetto who actually tries to help people. She adopts four boys who would not have had a chance otherwise. Then she gets killed for sticking her nose where some people don't want it to be, and her now-grown sons try to find out who did it, and put a cap in his ass. Simple stuff. A little too simple. Mark Walhberg's the star, and shows how he is unpreditcable as hell when it comes to performances (he can turn in something terrific in I HEART HUCKABEES, or BOOGIE NIGHTS and then just coasts on his former bad-boy image in someting lame like this). The rest of the cast includes Andre Benjamin (Andre 3000 from the rap group OUTKAST) making his film debut, Tyrese Gibson and Garrett Hedlund as the youngest and most sensitive of the brothers, a wannabe rockstar. The joke here is that these guys go around telling everyone they're brothers, but two of them are black and two are white and people keep reacting to that. It's very mediocre stuff and not worth going out of your way to see. It's also very sad to see a mighty director like Singleton reduced to this. Let's hope he gets out of this slump soon.
NEXT TIME: BEST OF 2005
Friday, January 13, 2006
NO FUN WITH MR. FIRE
I haven't posted in a while. Went to Florida the week of New Year's, and then last Friday, less than a week after we got back, there was a fire in our building. It's been taking a long time getting things back to normal. We even had to go to a hotel for a couple of days while they cleaned our apartment of smoke and soot. Hopefully things will be back to the way they were soon enough, so I can list a few new reviews here, as well as the BEST OF 2005 lists that have become an annual tradition here at THIS MODERN NIGHTMARE.
I hope to write more soon. Maybe even this weekend.
INFERNALLY YOURS,
LLS
