Saturday, August 09, 2008

 

THIS WEEK



NEW MOVIE REVIEWS UP



My review of the new movie RED (based on the novel by Jack Ketchum) is up on Fearzone. The movie is getting a brief theatrical release in a handful of cities on the 8th, but right now you can see it on cable - OnDemand - if you have it. Check it out - great flick.
RED

Here's the latest CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT review: X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE

*****

GOOD-BYE BERNIE MAC



Comedian Bernie Mac died this morning, of complications that came with a bout of pnuemonia. Supposedly, he'd had other lung ailments over the years.

I was a big fan of the guy. He was definitely the best comic in the KINGS OF COMEDY movie - the film that introduced him to most of mainstream America. And even his FOX sitcom was pretty edgy in the first season. He was the kind of guy who told it like it was and didn't care if he stepped on some toes - the kind of comic I dig. Even at the end he was making waves - I remember he did some comedy for an Obama event a month or so ago and people were screaming because of his definitely non-PC comedy. Fuck em if they can't take a joke. Not everything has to be family-friendly and PG-13. They hired Bernie Mac, and they got Bernie Mac. If they wanted someone safe, they should have hired Bill Cosby.

That said, I was pretty bummed out by how the movies neutered him over the years. He was good in something quirky like BAD SANTA, but as soon as he started popping up in mainstream crap like OCEAN'S ELEVEN (what a lot of people would consider "the big leagues"), and yeah, even TRANSFORMERS, he'd pretty much lost his edge. He gave it up in return for major stardom - but that equation never works out. You have to become bland and lose the very qualities that make you stand out in order to appeal to the mainstream pablum crowd, and it's sad. I mean, look at Eddie Murphy, he's Mr. Family Movie now. And even Richard Pryor got homogenized in some of his later films. I know George Carlin always regretted toning his act down to do his own short-lived sitcom on FOX years back (Sam Kinnison had a similar experience). It's like the very qualities that make someone a star are the liabilities that they take away in the name of "making you a bigger star."

Fuck that. Unfiltered Bernie Mac was fuckin hilarious, and that's how I'll remember him.

And at age 50, he was way too young to die. This is shitty news.

****

ARTIE LANGE GETS CLEAN??



Artie Lange checked into rehab this week.

For anyone who is a fan of the Howard Stern Show on Sirius satellite radio, Artie is one of Howard's sidekicks. He was also on the first couple of seasons of MAD TV and was in movies like the Norm MacDonald classic DIRTY WORK.

Artie is the kind of guy who loves his Jack and water and who is known for being completely out of control. The thought of him getting clean actually makes me kinda sad.

Maybe Artie will change his mind and escape from the facility somehow. We can only hope.

****

Got a tooth yanked the other day. Had a crack in it and it had been bothering me for awhile. A chunk of it fell out while I was eating dinner a few weeks back. It was one of the back molars and couldn't be saved, so they had to dig in and pull the rest out. They showed it to me - had nice long roots. Afterwards, they gave me a prescription for pain killers. After it was pulled, I went back to work for a few hours, took one tablet of the painkiller, and haven't taken any more since. I probably didn't even need that one.

Luckily, the stitched me up with dissolving thread, so I don't have to back to have my stitches removed. So it was about eventful as a cleaning.

***

Also been loving the hell out of the Cartoon Channel/Adult Swim series METALOCALYPSE. It's a cartoon about a death metal band called Dethklock. Season 1 just came out on DVD. The music is what grabbed me, but the show is pretty damn funny. Edgy, inappropriate stuff. I love it.

Later!
 

DARK JESTERS - OPEN FOR SUBMISSIONS



Well, I'm co-editing a new anthology called DARK JESTERS from Novello Publishers. Here are the SUBMISSIONS GUIDLINES:

****

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES

DARK JESTERS: AN ANTHOLOGY OF HUMOROUS HORROR


Title: DARK JESTERS: An Anthology of Humorous Horror, edited by Nick Cato and L.L. Soares.

Publisher: Novello Publishers (www.novellopublishers.com)

Release Date: Fall 2009

General Info: Novello Publishers is seeking 10 hysterical stories to fill their first trade paperback humorous horror anthology.

-Word count is not to exceed 2,000, NO EXCEPTIONS. The shortest accepted piece will be 1,500, but closer to the 2,000 mark is ideal for this project.

-Poetry will not be accepted.

-Stories must be horror-oriented-no scifi unless in the vein of "Alien." Stories will be selected (mainly) on their humor content: the harder you make the editors laugh the better chance your story will be picked. Any story that insults the horror genre will not be selected; "humorous horror" does not mean we want to "make fun" of the genre. We want to see "real" horror stories with a humorous angle. Whether your story deals with classic monsters (such as vampires), the apocalypse, serial killers, ghosts, or (you fill in the blank), we want the readers to laugh 'till it hurts.

-Stories that rely on profanity will probably not make the cut. Make us laugh without dropping F-bombs and your chances of acceptance skyrocket.

-We do not find rape, God-bashing or child-torture funny. Gore is fine depending on how it's used.

Format: Send your story double-spaced in a Times New Roman or Courier font as a .doc or .rtf attachment, NO EXCEPTIONS. Please underline any italicized words.

Payment: $40.00 and one contributor copy.

Note: NO REPRINTS. This will be an all-original anthology. If your story is selected you will be asked to give Novello Publishers 1 year's exclusive rights.

Reading Period: August 1st through November 30th

Send submissions to: NickYak@aol.com with DJ SUBMISSION in the subject heading. Hard copy submissions may be sent to NOVELLO PUBLISHERS Box 060382 / Staten Island, NY / 10306. Hard copies must be post-dated NO LATER than November 10th, 2008.

The table of contents will be announced in early December, 2008.

***
And for those of you who plan to razz me for some of the guidelines, keep in mind, I'm just the co-editor. Nick's the publisher.

One request, though: please NO MORE ZOMBIE STORIES. We've already gotten a bunch and they're giving me a headache. Come up with something fresh instead.

Looking forward to some funny submissions.

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