THIS MODERN NIGHTMARE

HERE WE GO - THE BEST MOVIES OF 2006!!

Well, I’m guessing PAN’S LABYRINTH was only released in New York and Los Angeles this weekend, since it’s not playing here. So no more reason to hold up the list. Let’s just dive right into it, shall we?

NUMBER 10 – (tie) THANK YOU FOR SMOKING and CLERKS 2

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING - I really enjoyed this flick, with Aaron Eckhart (who I’ve dug since he first appeared back in Neil LeBute’s debut film IN THE COMPANY OF MEN), as a tobacco lobbyist who can talk his way out of anything, who fucks up and spills his soul to a reporter (Katie Holmes, easily the weakest link in the film) who he sleeps with. What I dug about this movie was how nobody is especially likable, nobody really wimps out at the end and tries to redeem themselves, and the cast is mostly top notch. What’s not to love? Well directed by Ivan Reitman’s son, Jason, in his film debut. My only question is – how can you have a whole movie about tobacco lobbyists where not one person ever smokes??!!

CLERKS 2 – Nowhere near as good as the original, which was laugh-out-loud funny, Kevin Smith’s inevitable sequel to his debut film has its moments. With most of the original cast and the addtion of the beautfiul and extremely likable Rosario Dawson, this one has just enough heart and Kevin Smith magic to lift slightly off the ground. I actually liked this movie a lot, and considering what a fiasco it could have been, it wasn’t half bad for a sequel to a comedy classic.

NUMBER 9 - RUNNING SCARED - I totally avoided this movie in theaters, mostly because of the awful title. It looked like just another bad action movie. But then word of mouth on the internet made me think otherwise. People I respect were saying this movie deserved a second look, that it was actually pretty damn good. So I picked up the DVD, and found out they were right. It’s a simple enough storyline. A criminal tries to go straight, but things get in the way, including his son’s young friend stealing the gun that was used in a murder. The rest of the movie is an odyssey into the underbelly of society as the father tries to get his gun back. The various adventures along the way reminded me of movies like GO! and PULP FICTION. The solid cast includes Paul Walker (who’s actually pretty good here) and Vera Farmiga (from THE DEPARTED, I didn’t even realize she was in this). A small, underrated flick that I really enjoyed.

NUMBER 8 – CASINO ROYALE - You can tell a great movie when some of its ingredients put you off, but you still enjoy the hell out of it. With THE DEPARTED, I dreaded sitting through the acting of Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio, but I ended up enjoying the hell out of it anyway. With CASINO ROYALE, I found myself, for once, actually enjoying a James Bond movie!

I’ve always tried to dig the series, but I found it boring and pretty useless, even the much-revered Sean Connery installments. The films for the most part were slow-paced and uninteresting for me. I know –there are tons of people who love 007 – but I just wasn’t’ one of them. Then they got Daniel Craig to play the role – a real actor and not some pretty boy in a tux – and suddenly everything changed. Now we have a Bond who looks like he could actually do some damage in a brawl. And who acts rings around his predecessors (yeah, even the great Connery). And surprisingly, the audiences were in on it too – making this the biggest grossing Bond movie yet! Imagine that – a good movie that’s actually popular too! Wow.

NUMBER 7 – THE PROPOSITION - A nice gritty western, just like Uncle Peckinpah used to make. But this time it’s from Australian director John Hillcoat. Featuring Guy Pearce as a captured outlaw who has a choice: either go kill his gang-leader brother (Danny Huston) or his hopeless younger brother dies. With great performances by Ray Winstone as a merciless lawman and John Hurt as an especially creepy bounty hunter. Danny Huston turns in the performance of his career (so far) as a ruthuless and possibly insane outlaw. The Australian outback does a fine job replacing the American west. They just don’t make westerns like this anymore. And did I mention the movie was written (and scored), by one of my favorite musicians, Nick Cave? Good stuff.

NUMBER 6 – INLAND EMPIRE - At three hours long, there are a lot of people who are going to hate David Lynch’s new film, especially since it’s told entirely from a kind of dream logic which confounds conventional storytelling. But I loved it. This is Lynch at his most inscrutable, and revealing himself to truly be America’s Luis Bunuel. There are funny scenes here, touching scenes, and downright puzzling ones. But as a whole, I just really dug this movie. With an amazing performance by Laura Dern as several characters, including an actress and the character she plays in a doomed movie whose previous cast was murdered. Also featuring people with rabbit heads in what looks like a sitcom broadcast from Hell. If you love Lynch at his most surreal, then check this one out. Otherwise, leave it to the hardcore fans. This movie is a love letter to us.

NUMBER 5 – THE DEPARTED - After turning out some Oscar-friendly epics like THE GANGS OF NEW YORK and THE AVIATOR (both good films, but a bit overlong and bloated), Martin Scorcese, the emperor of American cinema, finally goes back to his roots and gives us a solid game of cops and robbers. Based on the Hong Kong film INFERNAL AFFAIRS (which I still need to check out), this one has Matt Damon as a bad guy who inflitrates the cops and Leonardo DiCaprio as a cop going undercover in the South Boston underworld. You can tell this is a great movie because I absolutely hate Damon and DiCaprio (well, DiCaprio is growing on me, being in all these Scorcese films lately), but I still loved this movie. With great performances by Jack Nicholson (who steals every scene he is in and shows what a real master does onscreen), to the always reliable Ray Winstone (again turning in a fine performance) as Nicholson’s right hand man, to a truly moving (and possibly star-making) performance by Vera Farmiga as the psychologist love interest of both Damon and DiCaprio.

NUMBER 4 – (tie) THE DESCENT and HILLS HAVE EYES

This list is going to be pretty eclectic, but down deep in my heart, I’m still a horror guy, and I’ll always be partial to good horror movies, especially considering all the crap that Hollywood feeds us hardcore fans on a regular basis. There were a lot of bad horror movies in 2006, and thankfully I knew enough to avoid a lot of them. But there were some surprises too. Hostel was a real nice surprise. So were these two flicks.

THE DESCENT - A small British movie about a group of women cave-explorers who go spelunking in North Carolina and get attacked by a race of subterranean bat people. The plot is basic enough, but the performances and the direction shine, despite the darkness. This was a movie with real suspense, and even though it was robbed of its original (and more powerful) ending in its U.S. release, it’s one of the best horror films of the year.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES – I’m a fan of Wes Craven’s original film, and was a little leery about the remake (remakes have a very high percentage of turning out as total shit), but this movie got it all right. Director Alexandre Aja (who previous gave us the suspenseful, if derivative HIGH TENSION) took Craven’s original movie (even keeping scenes and dialogue) and simply ramped up the tension and added some interesting original scenes in a nuclear testing ground/ghost town. One of the few remakes that actually builds on the original and makes it even better. A rarity indeed.

NUMBER 3 – LITTLE CHILDREN - Kate Winslet once again proves she’s one of the best actresses we have in this poingnant, incredibly well-written adaptation by Tom Perrotta (from his own novel) and directed by Todd Field (who last made the strong 2001 Oscar contender IN THE BEDROOM). A tale of suburbia, boredom, adultery, failure and what happens when a sex offender moves back into the neighborhood. All done with class, style, and wit. A solid film.

NUMBER 2 – HOSTEL - After being disapppinted by Eli Roth’s first film, the much-hyped CABIN FEVER (it had some really good stuff in it, but was uneven as hell), I wasn’t sure what to expect from his follow-up, but Roth vindicated himself nicely. This tale of Americans in Europe, looking for a good time and finding torture and death, was very well done, and I could actually feel some adrenaline kicking in by the end. I know a lot of people have been bashing this movie, mostly because of its violence, but this is exactly the kind of movie I dig. And for once, I can actually say that I’m looking forward to a movie’s sequel.

NUMBER 1 – BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN- The reason why Sasha Baron Cohen’s HBO show, DA ALI G SHOW (and I’m assuming his original show on British television as well), is so hilarious is because his insane characters interact with real people. It’s like a much smarter, subversive Candid Camera. Whether it’s the dumbass white rapper Ali G, the gay German fashion reporter Bruno or Kazakstan’s favorite television journalist, Borat. And it’s not just the prank that’s important, it’s the “victims’” reactions that really count. Thefore we get Ali G deflating the self-important, Bruno exposing the pretentiousness of the fashion industry or just plain homophobia, and stunted, racist Borat exposing these qualities in others.

The first time Cohen made a film of one of his characters, ALI G IN DA HOUSE, he made the mistake of taking his character out of the real world and tried to tell the fictitious story of his background, his everyday life. While it had some laughs, it was mostly a disappointment, a dopey big-screen sitcom. And it had none of the strengths of Cohen’s television shows. Ths time, he learns from his mistakes and gets it right. BORAT works on television because everyone thinks he’s real, and it’s the same for the movie. Whether he’s interviewing feminists, partying with drunken frat boys, or sharing anti-semetic or homophobic sentiments with racist Southerners, it’s the real stuff that has a funny/scary double-edged sword to it, and that’s what makes Cohen’s comedy so brilliant.

I have to admit, I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. After years of lame-ass Hollywood “comedies” like THE WEDDING CRASHERS and THE BREAK-UP, it was refreshing to finally see a movie that is genuinely laugh-out-loud funny. And if it’s experiencing a backlash (and lawsuits from befuddled “victims”) now, that doesn’t’ diminish the fact that this is the funniest movie comedy in years. And although this movie stands or falls on Cohen’s performance as Borat, Larry Charles should be credited for directing this one to perfection. Easily my favorite film of 2006.

SPECIAL RECOMMENDATION

I just really wanted to recommend the film UNITED 93 as well. While not a movie I can say I really “enjoyed” this fictionalized document of the doomed flight on 9-11 is an intense, well-made and powerful film that deserves to be seen.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Some movies were a little disappointing this year, but had enough going for them to recommend. These included:

FACTOTUM - a good adaptation of a Charles Bukowski novel starring Matt Dillon as Hank, Bukowksi’s stand-in. Anytime one of Buk's books makes it to the big screen, it's a time to celebrate (break out the booze!), but sadly, this one is nowhere in the league of the best Bukowski films like BARFLY.

V FOR VENDETTA - flawed, but maybe the best adaptation of an Alan Moore “graphic novel” so far. Moore disowned it before it was even released (I thought, a bit prematurely), but I think it's definitely worth checking out.

THE WOODS - Lucky McKee’s follow-up to MAY, which sadly went straight to DVD. A supernatural tale revolving around a strange girls’ boarding school near the woods. The cast includes Patricia Clarkson and the impressive Agnes Bruckner. I enjoyed it, and it deserved a theratrical release.

STRANGERS WITH CANDY - fun, but not as funny as the TV show that spawned it, starring the always amazing Amy Sedaris and most of the orignal cast.

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP - another fun, interesting movie from Michel Gondry, the guy who gave us ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, with Gael Garcia Bernal (who seems to be everywhere these days) and Charlotte Gainsbourg. This one’s about a guy who lives most of his life in dreams.

EDMOND - the combination of William H. Macy and David Mamet should have been a home run, and for awhile it is, but it gets bogged down in prison movie cliches by the end.

THE NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE -a rather dry biopic of fascinating 50s pin-up and bondage model Bettie Page. Bettie is an icon, and deservedly so, but she deserves a more red-blooded movie than this, despite a strong performance by Gretchen Mol, who truly tries to breathe some life into this otherwise cold fish of a script.

WORST MOVIES OF 2006

Well, I probably didn’t bother to see most of the worst movies. But of the ones I saw, these stood out as especially bad:

THE DA VINCI CODE - it wasn’t the acting or Tom Hanks’s hair that bothered me, it was the fucking plot! What a dumb borefest! I went to see this out of curiosity - the book has been on the best-sellers list forever. But I can't understand the appeal. Easily the worst thing I saw in 2006, despite the efforts of some talented people to save it.

X-MEN: LAST STAND - I actually kind of defended this movie when it came out, and it’s not all bad, but it is easily the weakest of the X-Men movies and doesn’t make a lot of fucking sense. And the formidable villain Juggernaut (in the comics) was reduced to a joke character here. Y'know how sometimes after you see a movie, you think about it and it grows on you afterwards? Well, this one had the exact opposite effect. The more I think about it, the more I think it was a waste of celluloid.

HARD CANDY- I so badly wanted to like this movie about a teenager who turns the tables on a pervert who contacts her on the internet, but it degenerated into a talky, annoying movie with characters you absolutely hated. Or at least I did! By the end, I wished both characters would die!

LADY IN THE WATER - M. Night Shyamalan proves once again that his first two movies were a fluke. Despite good acting by Paul Giamatti and the ethereal Bryce Dallas Howard (who was well-cast, but deserves much better movies), the plot was ludicrous and the fact that the character who is going to “change the world” is played by Shyamalan himself is pretty damn galling.

THE O IN OHIO - I love Parker Posey, but this “woman looking for an orgasm” movie was dumb and on the level of a bad sitcom. I even found myself getting angry at the sheer stupidity of certain scenes. Danny DeVito does a good job though as Posey’s very unlikely love interest at the end.

And

VOLVER - another boring soap opera from Pedro Almadovar. I used to really dig this guy’s work, but he’s lost his edge and his sobby little melodramas are starting to irritate me. I doubt I’ll be going to the theater anymore to see his new movies. He hasn’t done anything truly worth watching since 1997’s LIVE FLESH.

THE TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2006

Well, I skipped doing this list for a few years because I wasn’t listening to music much. But now that I have an Ipod, that’s changed, and finding out what I liked best in 2006 is as easy as checking the “most listened to songs”on my playlist. Even I was a little surprised at the results. To add some suspense, we'll even go backwards like David Letterman.

NUMBER 10 - SONIC YOUTH – THE DESTROYED ROOM -This collection of B-Sides and unreleased tracks is actually pretty good stuff. The standout for me was an almost 26 minute long version of their song The Diamond Sea. (one of my favorite SY tunes).

NUMBER 9 - (tie) ROBYN HITCHCKOCK AND THE VENUS 3 – OLE TARANTULA /LLOYD COLE - ANTIDEPRESSENT - Two college radio warhorses who keep on going. I always liked Hitchock and thought OLE TARANTULA was a really enjoyable album. As for Lloyd Cole, he’s been a favorite for awhile now, and ANTIDEPRESSANT actually sounds kind of sunny and upbeat for him.

NUMBER 8 - (tie) BABYSHAMBLES – DOWN IN ALBION/DIRTY PRETTY THINGS - WATERLOO TO ANYWHERE- Out of the ashes of the British punk band The Libertines came two new bands, who both put out good albums in 2006. Babyshambles got the most attention, due to lead singer Pete Doherty’s endless drug problems. The album is good, but sloppy at times. It does feature a great single though,Fuck Forever. Meanwhile, ex-Libertines guitarist Carl Barat released Dirty Pretty Things' first album. It’s more focused than Babyshambles, and sounds great, but I actually think Doherty wins by a hair this time.

NUMBER 7 - LADY SOVEREIGN – PUBLIC WARNING - England’s Lady Soveriegn’s full-length debut is a really catchy little rap album. The best song here is Love Me or Hate Me, which has been in my head a lot these days.

NUMBER 6 - DRESDEN DOLLS – YES, VIRGINA - This Boston band expanded their fan base with this excellent new album. Maybe they’ll finally become the global sensations they deserve to be. An odd pairing of cabaret music and punk that really works.

NUMBER 5 - SLAYER – CHRIST ILLUSION - The legendary band prove they still have their chops intact and are as relevant as ever. They might be the best metal band ever. Move over Metallica.

NUMBER 4 - BUCKCHERRY – FIFTEEN - A hard rockin band whose Crazy Bitch has become kind of a theme song for 2006 for me. I dig em.

NUMBER 3 - ROB ZOMBIE – EDUCATED HORSES - I thought Foxy Foxy was an okay first single, but the rest of the album is actually better. Rob Z hasn’t lost his touch and standouts include the songs American Witch and Let It Bleed Out.

NUMBER 2 - THE FLAMING LIPS – AT WAR WITH THE MYSTICS - A terrific album by a quirky band who’se been around for ages. Standouts include The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song and The W.A.N.D., one of the Lips’s few political songs, which was another of my favorite singles of the year.

And, NUMBER ONE

LAMB OF GOD – SACRAMENT - I finally decided to give this death metal band a chance, and instantly got hooked. Their single Redneck is easily the most listened to song on my Ipod this year. A solid ablum.

GUILTY PLEASURE OF THE YEAR-

FERGIE's first solo album THE DUCHESS. I can’t say this is great music, but London Bridge gets stuck in my head a lot, and I guess that means I like it. Keep it under your hat.

MOST OVERREATED BAND OF 2006 - THE ARCTIC MONKEYS – proclaimed as the saviors of British rock, with the fastest-selling album there ever (due in part to an aggressive word of mouth on the internet no doubt). I liked their debut WHATEVER PEOPLE SAY I AM, I’M NOT, but found it very derivative, and not all that exciting. Not an awful band, but don’t believe the hype.

Well, that's it for 2006. I'm sure I've forgotten somebody. But it's time to move on to the movies...

TOP 10 LISTS - COMING SOON!

Well, I hope you all made it through the holidays okay.

A few people have been asking when I'm going to post my Top 10 lists. This started four years ago, back in 2002 (the archives are still available here). The first time I posted what I considered the top 10 movies of the year, along with the top 10 albums. Since then, I've always posted the movies every year, but the albums have kinda disappeared as I just didn't have time to listen to music much. Of course, that changed when I got my Ipod. So the top 10 album list will make a comeback this year.

The reason the lists haven't popped up yet is I was waiting to see Guillermo del Toro's new movie, PAN'S LABYRINTH, which has been getting tons of buzz on the festival circuit, and from the things I've heard - and the movie trailer - it really looks like something I'd really enjoy. I wanted to check that out before I wrote the list. But it will be coming soon. PAN comes out on the 29th, for anyone who's interested.

In the meantime, just wanted to wish everyone a very happy new year. I hope 2007 turns out to be an especially good year for us all.

Infernally Yours,

~LLS

PLAYING CATCH-UP: WRITING NEWS

Well, this is the last installment of "Catch-Up" for today. This time, I'll update everyone on some writing stuff I have out now.

First off, the new issue of BARE BONE is out now (Issue # 9) featuring the story "Muscle Car" by myself and the talented author Kurt Newton. BARE BONE is a bi-annual anthology/magazine, and is available from the online horror bookstore Shocklines. Go here to check it out, if you're interested: http://shocklines.stores.yahoo.net/babo9bbykeld.html.

Also, my story "Sometimes the Good Witch Sings to Me" has been accepted for the anthology COVER OF NIGHT, due out from SamDot publishing in March of 2007.

I also have two new movie reviews in the new issue of the extreme horror movie magazine, ULTRA VIOLENT #8. They're for the movies BLOODBATH (by Joel M. Reed, the guy who also gave us BLOODSUCKING FREAKS) and the Australian horror film FEED. ULTRA VIOLENT is currently available in a lot of stores across the country, includng BORDERS. If you're into more extreme cinema and are interested in the magazine, you can learn more at: http://www.uvmagazine.com/site/

I've also become somewhat of a regular contributor to the Australian horror movie website DVD RESURRECTIONS (www.dvdresurrections.com). My reviews include the movies: PRAEY, POLYMORPH, SENSITIVE NEW-AGE KILLER, CHAOS, IMPRINT (Takashi Miike's unaired episode of MASTERS OF HORROR), KINKY KONG and VISIONS OF SUFFERING, with more to come.

That's all for now. You're all caught up.

Until next time...

INFERNALLY YOURS,

LLS

COMING SOON: THE TOP 10 BEST MOVIES OF 2006

PLAYING CATCH-UP PART 3: CONCERTS

Saw a few concerts lately. One was DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE, a band I've dug for awhile. But I have to admit, I really didn't care for them in concert. All this time I thought they were a quirky indie band, and then I go see them live and they look like some boy band, especially the lead singer. I was pretty disappointed. I guess appearing on The O.C. will do that to you. And the audience of 12 year old girls didn't help much. They played okay, I guess, but I didn't enjoy it very much. One band that I shouldn't have bothered to see live. Sometimes you're just gonna enjoy the albums more. Opening act Ted Leo and the Pharmacists were actually pretty good, though, and I might check out more of their stuff.

Also saw PRIMUS, which was a big deal because I thought they'd broken up forever. They were pretty amazing live despite that the fact that I hated the venue and I was dead tired from working. They played just about all my favorite songs, and my only complaint is that they did way too many solos and noodling. It's like every song suddenly became 10 minutes long. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it bored the hell out of me. But man, what a great band.

Opening act Rasputina was pretty good, too. Two women playing cellos and a guy playing drums. I think I'll definitely check out some of their albums. I thought they did okay considering they had an inferior sound mix. And there were a lot of people in the audience who were very hostile to them. I guess I expected more civility from Primus fans.

PLAYING CATCH-UP: TV EDITION

MASTERS OF HORROR - SEASON 2 (SO FAR)

Well, we're almost half-way into Season 2 of the show MASTERS OF HORROR on Showtime, and so far it's been a pretty dismal season. Let's take a look at the episodes so far, shall we?

EPISODE 1 - THE DAMNED THING

Directed by Tobe (the original TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE) Hooper and based on a story by Ambrose Bierce (I'm assuming it is very "loosely" based). An evil force torments a small town, driving people into homicidal rage. Very mediocre episode that didn't make a lot of sense. When is Hooper going to get his mojo back? Grade: C

EPISODE 2 - FAMILY

George Wendt stars as a neighbor with a very strange (and homicidal) hobbie, who takes an interest when some new people move in next door. Of course, they might have plans of their own. Directed by John Landis who gave us last season's DEER WOMAN (one of my favorite episodes of Season 1). This time around, it's just so-so. Grade: B-

EPISODE 3 - THE V WORD

Two annoying teenagers sneak into a mortuary hoping to "see a dead body." Ooh creepy! They find a vampire (Michael Ironside in a totally thankless role) instead. He turns them into vampires. They have to deal with it. Directed by Ernest Dickerson (who made the awful flick BONES with Snoop Dogg, but who also is a director for THE L WORD on Showtime, which is a decent series) and written by Mick Garris (who created MASTERS OF HORROR, and who should know better). This is without a doubt the most predictable, cliche-ridden, totally lame-ass episode of the series yet. I was actually yelling at the screen at one point, because it was so fucking stupid. Needless to say, I hated this one. Grade: F!

EPISODE 4 - SOUNDS LIKE

A guy with hyper-sensitive hearing tries to deal with the death of his young son. He works for a company that provides computer help over the phone - he's the guy who screens the calls to make sure the techs are handling things right. As his hearing gets more and more intense, he starts to lose his mind. Despite the fact that the hearing thing is never explained (and at one point his hearing seems to go back to normal for some mysterious reason, only to get hyper-sensitive again), this is a kind of weird variation on the old Roger Corman movie X - THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES. Directed by Brad Anderson, who gave us the interesting "haunted sanitarium" movie SESSION 9. This one has its flaws, but it was atmospheric and kind of interesting. Grade: B-

EPISODE 5 - PRO-LIFE

I actually missed this episode. I tried to catch it again on OnDemand, but it never showed up. Why? Could it be the subject matter? This one was directed by John Carpenter and is about a girl who gets pregnant by a demon, and her aggressively "pro-life" father (Ron Perlman) who goes to great lengths to prevent her from having an abortion. Of course, I can't tell you if it's any good, because for some reason I am not being allowed to see it. (Note: Since this was written, a friend of mine has told me he's going to get me a copy of "Pro-Life." So a review is forthcoming.)

EPISODE 6 - PELTS

Directed by Dario Argento (who did my favorited "aired" episode last season, JENIFER) and based on a story by the great horror writer F. Paul Wilson, I had high hopes for this one. But, as seems to be pretty common this season, I was disappointed. Meat Loaf Aday (yep, the same guy who puts out those BAT OUT OF HELL albums) stars as a furrier who comes across some supernatural raccoon pelts that were already responsible for the deaths of two men. Seems whoever comes in contact with the pelts goes insane (reminded me a lot of the first episode, THE DAMNED THING). Meat Loaf is also obsessesed with a stripper who shuns his advances. He makes her a coat out of the haunted pelts to impress her, but we all know where this is going. Grade: C

EPISODE 7 : THE SCREWFLY SOLUTION

This one was directed by Joe Dante and was based on a story by James Tiptree Jr., a fine science fiction writer (and despite the psuedonym, a woman).

In parallel to scientists releasing thousands of sterilized male screwflies into nature to wipe out the screwfly species (they had been laying their eggs in cattle and killed them by the thousands), a meteor comes to earth and men start killing off the women in what appears to be a viral epidemic. Sexual arousal and violence become one. The idea being that with women wiped out, the human race will become extinct. But what's causing it? Is some alien culture exterminating us? The stars this time around include Jason Priestley and Elliot Gould.

It seems like the whole "virus or force that drives men homicidal" is a running theme this season of MASTERS OF HORROR, but "Screwfly" is easly the best of the bunch. Not a perfect episode, but one of the better - if not the best - of the season so far. Grade: B+

There are still some episodes left. And I'm hoping for at least one great one to come.....

SHOWS NOW ON HIATUS UNTIL JANUARY

PRISON BREAK was pretty great this season so far. Especially my favorite character T-Bag who has been through the ringer, lost his hand (twice) and been tortured for hours for information about stolen money, and he's still going strong and delivering some well-deserved "payback" to the fuckers who deserve it. A suspenseful, well-written, and well-acted show. There are a few missteps, and not all of the characters are great, but on the whole, a terrific show that will keep you watching and on the edge of your seat.

HEROES - this show has been getting increasinly better too as it goes along. I really look forward to learning more about the characters and their powers. And I can't wait to find out more about the supervillain Sylar, who they are all destined to face. Two reasons to look forward to the new year.

PLAYING CATCH-UP: MOVIE EDITION

Man, I am so behind on updating this blog. Let's take a stab at getting caught up, shall we? Lots of movies this time around.

BORAT

I went to a press screening (early) of BORAT and knew it was going to be comedy gold. I've been a fan of Sasha Baron Cohen's HBO show DA ALI G SHOW, and one of the characters he plays on that show is Borat, so I knew exactly what to expect. If you're not aware of this show and you enjoyed the BORAT movie, what are you waiting for? Rent, or better, buy the 2 seasons of DA ALI G SHOW that are available on DVD already!

Cohen's great skill is to play these insane characters and get people to believe that he's the real thing. His characters so far are: Ali G (a slang-talking white rapper who pretty much offends everyone he talks to), Borat (the Kazahkstan journalist who has come to America to study our customs) and Bruno, a gay fashion reporter from Germany who pretty much exposes the fashion world for the bullshit it is, and who has done some pretty hilarious interviews with fratboys for "gay German TV" too.

What else can I say about the BORAT movie? If you're going to go see it, you probably saw it already. If you're a fan of the show, then the movie is just one prolonged (and very funny) skit. It actually does hold up well in a movie-length format. Cohen doesn't break character once. And unlike the British Ali G movie (ALI G IN DA HOUSE) which was a fictional account of Ali G's life outside the studio (it was pretty lame), the Borat movie has him interacting with real people, just like the show, and that's why it works so well.

Easily the funniest thing I've seen all year. Can't wait for his next movie, which is rumored to be about Bruno.

UNITED 93

Saw UNITED 93 on cable, a movie I'd missed the first time around. It's about the plane that was hijacked during 9-11 but where the passengers fought back. Riveing stuff. It all takes place in real time, and despite the fact that you know the outcome, the movie is suspenseful and riveting as hell. Highly recommended.

THE DEPARTED

I avoided this new Martin Scorsese movie for awhile because of the cast. Leonardo DiCaprio kind of annoys me, and Matt Damon grates on my nerves. No idea why these two baby-faced actors are so fucking popular. But I should have trusted Scorsese. The movie is pretty damn good.

Damon plays Colin Sullivan, a kid from South Boston who is taken under the wing of Southie gangster Frank Costello (a terrific performance from Jack Nicholson). He grows up to be one of Costello's trusted lackeys and joins the police force, where his ambition pays off and he is quickly promoted through the ranks. His main (secret) job is to keep Costello abreast of police activity and make sure the gangster always stays one step ahead of the cops.

DiCaprio plays Billy Costigan, a kid from the wrong side of the tracks (his father and uncle had dealings with the mob), who wants to make good. He joins the academy as well, and upon graduation he is snatched up and forced to go undercover in Costello's operation. Only his bosses (Martin Sheen and Mark Walhberg) know that he's a cop and he reports directly to them.

So we have a gangster pretending to be a cop, and a cop pretending to be a gangster. From here, the sparks fly.

The supporting cast is actually pretty cool, from the always great Ray Winstone (from SEXY BEAST) as Mr. French, Costello's right hand man, to Alec Baldwin (is it just me, or does he seem to be everywhere these days?) as Damon's superior Ellerby, and Vera Farmiga gives one of the best performances in the movie as the psychologist involved with both Damon and DiCaprio.

After two major epics (GANGS OF NEW YORK and THE AVIATOR), this is Scorsese back on track. People have compared this movie to GOODFELLAS, and while I wouldn't say it's that good, it's pretty damn riveting. I didn't see the Hong Kong film it's based on INFERNAL AFFAIRS, but I'm going to have to check that out now.

This one's got lots of violence, too. Which is always a plus in a Scorsese picture.

You can tell Scorsese is a master because of the performances he's able to get out of people. DiCaprio has been a Scorsese regular for a few movies now, and while I couldn't stand him for a long time, he's been growing into a pretty decent actor in Scorsese's flicks and stuff like Spielberg's CATCH ME IF YOU CAN. As for Damon, he still grates on me, but he turns in a decent performance in THE DEPARTED as well. Reminds me of the old saying Alfred Hitchcock had about actors being like cattle. Give 'em a great director and anyone can look good onscreen.

Nicholson especially looks like he's having a lot of fun in this movie. And I was grabbed with both hands throughout. Decent flick. Worth checking out. I hope the Academy actually remembers Scorsese at Oscar time, even though this is little more gritty than they usually like. It's a virtuoso performance by one of the best directors we've got.

(For the record, I lived in South Boston for 10 years and never once saw any signs of gangsters. The Southie I knew was almost like a small town in the middle of a big city. Lots of families. And then the yuppies started to come in and buy up lots of property. It's actually pretty funny how the movies try to make this area look like a hotbed of crime.)

VOLVER (TO RETURN)

Like Scorcese, Spanish director Pedro Almodovar has a reputation of being a director you can trust to deliver the goods. However, I've been dissapointed with a lot of his movies lately. I was a big fan early on, when Almodovar was turning out more edgy fair like MATADOR, DARK HABITS and LAW OF DESIRE. He was like a darker, more restrained John Waters in some ways. I even dug his more commercial movies like TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN (starring the future Hollywood star Antonio Banderas) and of course his biggest hit WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. But after that, I thought he started to lose his edge and wanted to be taken more seriously. In the process, his movies evolved (if that's the right word) into elongated soap operas. The melodrama was still there, but instead of having some teeth, his movies have become pretty safe and extremely sentimental. Let's just say, I prefer the old Almodovar.

Despite this, the guy pretty much gets nothing but rave reviews every time he comes out with a new movie. The critics love him, and he even won the Foreign Oscar for ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER (a movie I pretty much hated). And at this point in his career, he's considered a master filmmaker who can't do much that's wrong.

Needless to say, aside from LIVE FLESH in 1997, his last truly great film (and perhaps my favorite of his entire catalog), and the so-so TALK TO HER (2002), I have ceased to be a fan of his work in the past decade or so. And his new one, VOLVER, is no exception.

In this one, Penelope Cruz (who was so overhyped as a Hollywood actress in recent years) returns to her roots and portrays Raimunda, a woman who is kind of aimless until her daughter kills her husband after an attempted rape. Rainmunda hides in the body in the freezer of the restaurant next door which she is watching for friends (the owners are out of town). While over there, some customers come in, and she is inadvertently put in a situation where she agrees to cook for a visiting film crew. Ironically, running the restaurant seems to breathe new life into Raimunda.

Meanwhile, Raimunda's Aunt Paula dies and people begin to see the ghost of Raimunda's mother Irene (Carmen Maura) hovering about. In fact, she even comes to stay with Raimunda's sister Sole (Lola Duenas) and swears her to secrecy. Irene had a falling out with Raimunda for years before her death, but wants a reconciation with her long-lost daughter and wants to meet her granddaughter.

From this point, the movie basically drowns in sentimentality. I was actually heartened by the fact that there might be a supernatural element in the film, but that has a twist of its own. While I have to admit that I really liked Cruz's performance (she used to be an Almodovar regular before she went to Hollywood, and it's nice to have her back. She's also a very good actress, and reminds me of a prettier Sophia Loren, which clearly I'm not alone in, with the constant comments in the film about Cruz's formidable cleavage), the script left me pretty apathetic. I didn't care about a lot of the characters and found them kind of irritating. I also found the sweetness of the film a little overbearing.

If you're a big Almodovar fan, and you've really enjoyed his recent films, then by all means, go out and see VOLVER as soon as you can. For everyone else, you can wait for the DVD. There's nothing all that great here.

LITTLE CHILDREN

I had high hopes for the new film by director Todd Field (who previously made the intense film IN THE BEDROOM) and writer Tom Perrotta (whose novel ELECTION was also made into a very good movie with Matthew Broderick and Reece Witherspoon of all people!), and I wasn't disappointed. LITTLE CHILDREN is one of the best films I've seen in awhile (well, since THE DEPARTED, LOL).

The main storyline focuses on Sarah Pierce (Kate Winslet), a bored and unhappy housewife who takes her daugther to the park every day. There is a bunch of other mothers there, and she clearly does not fit in or identify with them. Sarah clearly does not want to be where she is in life and is looking for a way out. She finds that in Brad (Patrick Wilson), a stay-at-home dad who also brings his kid to the park, and whom the other mothers fantasize about. When Sarah gets Brad's phone number on a dare from one of the other mothers (and kisses him as well), this leads to a friendship between the two that eventually blossoms into a romance. It's no mistake that Sarah joins a book club at one point where the book they discuss is MADAME BOVARY.

There are subplots about their spouses, about a retired cop who shot a child by accident in the line of duty, and a sex offender who recently moved back in with his mother in the neighborhood and has the parents on edge.

The connecting tissue of the film is characterization. Everyone is fleshed out and even the creepy pervert has a human side. Winslet turns in another terrific performance (her role in TITANTIC not withstanding, she's one of the best actresses we've got) and the entire cast really does a great job.

This is what happens when you have a talented director and a solid script. Definitely worth checking out.

CASINO ROYALE

I actually went to see the new James Bond flick, CASINO ROYALE, which is kind of amazing, since I'm not a Bond fan and find most of the films in the series to be pretty boring (and yes, that includes the beloved Sean Connery movies).

Then why go see the new one? To put it simply, Daniel Craig. This guy can act! In films like LOVE IS THE DEVIL (Study for a Portrait of Francis Bacon), ROAD TO PERDITION, ENDURING LOVE and LAYER CAKE, Craig has proven over and over that he's got the acting chops. And he wasn't the typical "pretty boy" to get the role of James Bond (unlike past Bonds from Roger Moore to Peirce Brosnan). Here is a James Bond who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty and get into a brawl if he needs to.
For once, I was able to sit through a Bond film without squriming. The plot is pretty much an origin story - how Bond became a 007 (his "license to kill" was contigent on his first making two kills) and his first big mission afterwards, involving Le Chiffre (Mads Mikklesen) a villain who launders money for "freedom fighters" and various shadowy types who lurk in the background. Of course it's also a love story, involving Bond with Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), who begins as an uptight associate and later becomes the big love of his life. And lots of high-stakes casino action (although I find it a little hard to swallow that the big game in Montenregro is Texas Holdem - it's clearly the game of choice here because of its current mainstream popularity).

But the plot is always secondary in a Bond flick. The focus is on action (the film starts out with a long foot chase that includes some pretty amazing stunts) and near-death escapes (at one point Bond is poisoned and has mere minutes to save his own life, involving using a difibrillator on himself).

At about two and a half hours, CASINO ROYALE is a little longer than it needed to be (which seems to be the case with a lot of movies these days), but for once this was a Bond film that wasn't that tough to sit through, and Daniel Craig breathes new life into a tired character.

Worth checking out.

INLAND EMPIRE

And, finally (for this post at least), we have David Lynch's new movie INLAND EMPIRE. And it's a doozy. Easily the most challenging thing he's done so far, which is probably why he's had to distribute this one himself.

As for what it's about, that's a tough one. There's a semblance of a story in the middle, where Laura Dern and Justin Thereaux play actors starring in a new movie by a director, played by Jeremy Irons. Turns out the movie is a remake of a previous film that was never finished. The cast was murdered in that one, and it was attributed to some kind of curse. This doesn't sit well with Laura Dern's character, Nikki Grace, but she soldiers on.

She lives in a mansion with her creepy husband and a bunch of servants. Thereaux's character is supposed to be a womanizer and everyone keeps warning him not to get involved with Dern (including her creepy husband), but Thereaux seems clueless. It's as if he really isn't a womanizer at all, but everyone is telling him he is. Of course, he does get involved with Dern anyway.

From there, the movie pretty much transforms into a long dream, where it pretty much abandons any straight-forward narrative and instead enters a surreal stream-of-consciousness that is sometimes humorous and sometimes just disorienting. Dern plays several roles including Nikki and her character in the movie-within-a-movie Susan. There are a lot of interesting actors in this one, from Harry Dean Stanton as Irons's goofy assistant Freddie to Diane Ladd (Dern's mother) as an "Entertainment Tonight"-type reporter to Mary Steenburgen and Julia Ormond.

Oh, and there are a few scenes of people with rabbit heads, saying odd things to the accompaniment of occasional canned laughter, like some kind of surreal sitcom. I actually enjoyed these "rabbit" scenes and wish there had been more of them.
There are also a lot of scenes which seem to take place in Poland, and have the subtitles to prove it.

At three hours long, INLAND EMPIRE is going to split people down the middle. If you're already a Lynch fan, and actually enjoy his dream-like, sometimes incomprehensible films, then chances are you might really love this one. If you're not a fan, then this one is not going to win you over. In fact, you'll probably despise it.

Me, I loved it. Despite the fact that it is a bit overlong, I was interested throughout and wanted to see more. If my damn knee wasn't bothering me (the uncomfortable theater seats didn't help), I would have probably enjoyed it even more.

But this is one movie that is not going to win Lynch many new fans. Either you're going to love it or hate it. You've been warned.