THIS MODERN NIGHTMARE

NEW CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: IGOR & GOODBYE PAUL NEWMAN

The new Cinema Knife Fight movie review column is online at FearZone.com

This time, Michael and I do something a bit different and review a kids' movie. Check out our review of IGOR here.

To tell you the truth, I think our review is more fun than the movie.

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Also, I saw that Paul Newman died today. He was nothing short of an icon, and I'm sure if James Dean hadn't of died young, they would have had very similar careers (early on, they competed for a lot of the same roles).

Newman was 83, but for some reason I thought he was much older. He was in a ton of movies that are considered classics, and he was also a humanitarian who helped a lot of charities through the profits of his NEWMAN'S OWN food products (everything from popcorn to salad dressing to cookies to coffee). Go to your local grocery store's organic section and get yourself a pack of NEWMAN-O's (kind of like organic Oreos) in his memory.

He first started acting back in 1952, and his list of credits is very impressive, here are just a few of my favorites:

COOL HAND LUKE (1967) - probably my favorite Newman film ever. What a fuckin terrific flick about a prison chain gang, with Strother Martin as the warden who's line "What we have here is a failure to communicate" has become legendary. Newman played a prisoner who never stops trying to get out. What an amazing movie.

HUD (1963) Newman had a real gift for playing Southern ne'r do well types (you might call him a fuck-up), and HUD was a real landmark in the genre.

THE HUSTLER (1961) - Newman as Eddie Felson, pool shark. His big dream is to take on the legendary Minnesota Fats (Jack Gleason). A dark, fascinating movie. 25 years later, Newman went on to play Felson again in a sequel THE COLOR OF MONEY (1986), directed by Martin Scorcese.

BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969) - I wasn't a big fan of everything Newman and Robert Redford did together (I think THE STING is a bit overrated), but this movie is one of the coolest, laid back westerns I've ever seen. The fight between Newman and Ted Cassidy (Lurch from the Adams Family) early on is the stuff of legend. This is the Newman/Redford team's finest hour.

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF (1958) where Newman gets to star in a Tennessee Williams play. His other one was SWEET BIRD OF YOUTH (1962).

Other standouts include:

THE LONG HOT SUMMER (1958 - Newman does a great Faulkner adaptation), TORN CURTAIN (1966 - Newman works with Hitchcock), THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JUDGE ROY BEAN (1972), THE TOWERING INFERNO (1974 - the king of all disaster flicks), QUINTET (1979 - Newman works with Altman in a weird sci-fi flick) and of course THE VERDICT (1982 - the excellent Sidney Lumet film that provided him with a "comeback" as an actor that extended through the 80's and 90's).

He was working right up to the end, and he'll be missed. Paul Newman was an amazing actor. One of the best.

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES AND CHOKING

Saw the new movie CHOKE last night. I wasn't sure how good the trailer looked, but it's based on a book by one of my favorite writers, Chuck Palahniuk (who also wrote FIGHT CLUB), and it stars Sam Rockwell, who was so great as Chuck Barris in CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND, so I figured it was a pretty safe bet.

Rockwell plays Victor Mancini, a "recovering" sex addict who is part of a support group. I put quotes around recovering because while everyone else is talking about their problems (the group is led by Joel Grey!) Victor's in another room banging one of the other addicts. His commitment to changing his ways doesn't seem very strong.

He spends his days working in a colonial village, dressed in period clothing, and giving tours. His best friend, Denny (Brad William Henke) also works there. He's also a recovering sex addict (at his peak he was masturbating 15 times a day, we're told). And the boss at the village, Lord High Charlie (director Clark Gregg) makes both of their lives miserable.

Victor is a med school dropout who now uses most of his money to keep his mother Ida (Angelica Huston) in a decent hospital. She's suffering from dementia and doesn't remember who Victor is (she keeps calling him other names). There are also a lot of flashbacks to Victor's childhood where his mother is portrayed as a real nutcase. He lived with various foster parents while his mother was in and out of jail and hospitals for things like stealing buses and kidnapping (every time she gets out, she steals him away from his latest foster parent without telling them).

Victor has big mother issues, which seems to tie in with his sex addiction and inability to get close to anyone. He also has this weird scam where he goes to restuarants and pretends to choke. The person who saves him then gets "attached to him for life" by saving his life. He says he does this so he can guilt them into giving him cash, which he uses to pay his mother's hospital bills, but a big part of it is also that he desperately craves a real family and the choking/saving scam is one of the few ways he can connect with people on any kind of intimate level.

Aside from the fact that he cares about his mother, he also desperately wants to get some information out of her - who his real father is. And he's terrified that if she dies or if her dementia continues to worsen, he'll never get this information out of her.

There is also a new doctor at the hospital, Paige Marshall (Kelly MacDonald, who I've seen before in tons of stuff like NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN and GOSFORD PARK), who Victor starts to fall in love with. She's also the only female member of the hospital staff he hasn't fucked yet, and he finds he has trouble getting it up when Paige finally comes on to him, the theory being that once he's finally found someone he really cares about, he can't "use" them sexually.

As you can see, there are a lot of layers and subplots here. Some work, some don't. The whole sex addiction thing and his romance with Paige are actually pretty good. The whole choking scam - where the movie and the book get their name- seemed kind of lame to me. I also found Victor's relationship with his mother kind of annoying. Another crazy mom! She seemed like a watered down version of the equally nutty mom Asia Argento played in THE HEART IS DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS.

But there's enough here to make the movie worthwhile. The scenes in the colonial village, where people are fined if they fall "out of charactger" are especially funny. One scene in a barn with Rockwell and Bijou Phillips getting caught having sex (well, really she's just giving him a handjob) by the boss Lord High Charlie (who has a thing for Bijou) is pretty hilarious.

I like Rockwell a lot and I thought CHOKE was a decent flick, but it kept seeming to be playing it too safe. Like it was a low-fi version of a movie that wanted to be bigger and wilder. Everything seems muted. I think a lot of it might be the direction by Clark Greg (who is also an actor who has appeared in everything from THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE to THE WEST WING). Greg is a good actor but this is his first time as a director, and while he clearly has talent, I think he needs to cut loose a little more.

All in all a good movie, but it could have been a great one. As is, it comes nowhere close to the David Fincher's movie of FIGHT CLUB.

***

I also watched the first Presidential Debate last night. After all the speculation about whether or not John McCain would show up, the night was pretty much a disappointment. Both candidates were well spoken , but neither had anything new or interesting to say. And the rhetoric got tiresome fast (the both compared "Wall Street to Main Street") . And there was no clear winner. Obama hit McCain on his failings in the financial spectrum, McCain hit Obama on his lack of foreign policy experience (but think about it, how many presidents had foreign policy experience before they took office? Not many. Even George W. had to learn on the job). I don't think the debate would change anyone's mind, although neither candidate came off particularly badly.

The biggest problem with this debate was the moderator, PBS newsman Jim Lehrer, who was pretty annoying. He kept trying to force the two candidates to interact and argue, instead of letting any interaction between them happen naturally. And there were many times when interaction wasn't necessary, and they were just trying to make their points to the public. Lehrer came off as a pushy teacher trying to force two kids on the debating team to do their thing his way, and I hope he doesn't moderate any of the future debates. Frankly, he sucked.

***

I also picked up the new Hank Williams III album STRAIGHT TO HELL recently, on the recommendation of some friends. I've got to admit, I was skeptical. I hate country music for the most part, especially modern "pop" country. But Hank is nothing like that stuff (in fact, in one song called "Dick in Dixie" he pretty much slams those assholes). STRAIGHT TO HELL is old-school country mixed with a kind of punk energy (there are fiddles, but the fiddlers sound like they're on crystal meth). He also has a great voice (reminiscent of his granddad), and lyrics that aren't afraid to get profane when dealing with topics of anger and hedonism. In other words, it's good shit.

Considering that the first Hank Williams was one of the few country singers I ever liked (along with Johnny Cash), its nice to see the grandson keeping the legacy alive, and adding a little edge to the mix.

FIRST COLONOSCOPY

Wasn't sure if I was going to post about this, but I figured why not, and it might help other people going through the same situation.

Had my annual physical a couple of months ago and my doctor wanted me to go get a colonoscopy. This kind of freaked me out, because supposedly most men don't start getting these things until they turn 50, and I'm not even 45 yet. But, at the same time, if there was something wrong, I wanted to catch it early.

But everyone I know who I asked about it said it was horrible and I shouldn't do it. Strangely, most of those people had never had a colonoscopy and seemed pretty dead set against having one when the time came.

And I've got a very close friend who's going through cancer right now, and I see how miserable it's been for him, and I don't want to risk going through something like that. So I made the appointment.

Well, I finally got it done a couple of weeks ago. The watiing was the hardest part because I had no idea what to expect, and that was pretty stressful, especially when you're sitting around on a hospital bed for two hours in a "johnny."

So they finally wheel me in to the procedure room, and the doctor seems incredibly nice and tells me this is going to be nothing. They sedated me a bit - not enough to knock me out - but enough so that the procedure wasn't painful, and it was over in no time. In fact, it was so anti-climactic, I asked the doctor afterwards, "Are you sure it's done?"

On top of that, since it involves examining your whole colon with a camera, the answers are immediate. You don't have to wait a week for the results. So right away he was able to tell me I was completely healthy, and there was nothing to be concerned about. And on top of that he said I didn't have to get this done again for 10 years.

So it's a huge relief that's over. But at the same time, I just wanna tell anyone who may be going for this procedure, or who is thinking of not going through with it, that, like most things - everyone exaggerates about this stuff. It's not something to be scared of; it's not some horrible, invasive procedure; and frankly, it's pretty wimpy compared to other stuff you could experience.

I was amazed how much of a non-event this was, especially after the way everyone had built it up as some big, scary treatment.

It just reinforced my belief that nothing is as bad as people say it is.

COVER TO DARK JESTERS

Well, the anthology I'm editing with Nick Cato, DARK JESTERS, now has a cover. I just wanted to give everyone a sneak preview because it look TERRIFIC!

The book won't be out for a year, but the cover is so cool I wanted to share. It was done by William Renfro who goes by the name of "Inkstein" and I think he did an amazing job!

As for the anthology, we've already received over 100 (!) submissions, and will continue to take them until 11/30/08 (see writer's guidelines at www.novellopublishers.com ).

CRAZY ABOUT HYDE

People who know me, know I'm a huge fan of the character Mr. Hyde. I think Robert Louis Stevenson is a fucking genius for coming up with the whole Henry Jekyll/Edward Hyde concept, and most of the time - when it comes to adaptations - I just love them. A big part of it is the fact that Hyde actually loves the evil he does. He's laughing as he clubs people upside the head. He giggles as he stabs someone in the bread basket. It's the muthafucking JOY of murder and mayhem that makes him so endearing to me.

What other classic monster has such a good time? Certainly not the Larry Talbots of the world who are always moping around, bemoaning their lot in life. (ironically, the dual nature of Talbot's WOLFMAN is very similar to the Hyde story). Larry needs to embrace his inner wolf and run wild. As Hyde would surely tell him, nothing is as exhilirating as cutting loose on some humans.

And since everyone seems to love lists so much, here are my top 5 favorite movie versions of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde:

1. DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (1931) - the absolute definitive movie version. Frederick March is fucking amazing. And I also like the way his Hyde looks the best, too. He looks downright bestial. Whether he's laughing as he throws people down stairs or visiting the brothel for a bit of fun, March's Hyde is my kind of monster. (directed by Rouben Mamoulian)

2. THE MAN WITH TWO HEADS (1972) - Most people are going scoff at this because it's a low-budget Andy Milligan film, but I think this is one of the best things Milligan ever did. Made during Milligan's London period (a rare period of time when he wasn't living and filming on Staten Island, NY), TWO HEADS is not about a literal creature with two heads, but is another retelling the Jekyll and Hyde story. Here, he gets a terrific performance out of Denis DeMarne as "Dr. William Jekyll" and his alter-ego "Danny"). The movie is played straight and is easily one of schlockmeister Milligan's finest films. The Hyde character has an especially sadistic edge to him, which goes hand in hand with rumors of Milligan's own sadistic tendencies (see his biography THE GHASTLY ONE for a real treat of a movie bio). Despite his shortcomings, Milligan understood Hyde on a primal level and portrayed him well. (directed by Andy Milligan)

3. DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (1920) - The John Barrymore version, where he supposedly did not use any make-up in the transformation scene (although I'm not 100% sold on that legend). Still, a splendid dual performance from Barrymore, who does a great job as the sinister Hyde. (directed by John S. Robertson).

4. THE STRANGE CASE OF DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (1968) - Dan Curtis's TV-movie version of Stevenson's story uses the real book's name and features a tour-de-force performance by Jack Palance as Jekyll and Hyde. Curtis is also the guy who gave us DARK SHADOWS and my favorite show ever, KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER, and in the late 60's he made a batch of TV-movie versions of classic horror stories including FRANKENSTEIN and DRACULA. The HYDE movie is a high point of the bunch, and Palance is effectively creepy as a vicious Mr. Hyde. Palance as the title role in Curtis's DRACULA adaptation is just as good. Even though these are TV-movies, they feature some of the best work Palance ever did. (directed by Dan Curtis).

5. (TIE) DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (1941) - the Spencer Tracy version is often maligned, but Tracy does a fine job in the role. This one's also interesting because I think it may be Tracy's only foray into horror films. With a terrific dream sequence that features Tracy, as Hyde, driving a horse-drawn carriage and whipping the animals - which turn out to be human beings! (directed by Victor Fleming).

And I, MONSTER (1971) with Christopher Lee in the Jekyll/Hyde role. And Peter Cushing as Jekyll's friend Frederick Utterson. For some reason, Lee plays "Dr. Charles Marlowe" and his evil alter ego "Edward Blake," but a simple change of names can't fool us. I haven't seen this one in a long time, but I suspect if I saw it again, it might be a bit higher on the list. (directed by Stephen Weeks).

This is just the tip of the iceberg, though. There were tons more adaptations of the story from Terence Fisher's Hammer version from 1960 (The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll) with Paul Massie, to Edge of Sanity (1989) starring Anthony Perkins, and interesting spins on the subject like the blaxploitation version called Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde (1976) starring Bernie Casey to the terrific Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (1971), with Ralph Bates as Jekyll and Martine Beswick as a female Hyde (another movie that I saw so long ago, I barely remember it, and if I saw it again, it might place higher on my list).

I even really liked the Julia Roberts film Mary Reilly (1996), told from the point of view of one of Jekyll's servants, with a terrific performance by John Malkovich as Jekyll/Hyde.

And of course one of my favorite comic book characters, The Hulk, owes a lot to Jekyll and Hyde (Stan Lee has said the character was originally meant to be a combination of Jekyll and Frankenstein's monster). And there is an old Thor villain called Mr. Hyde in Marvel Comics (in the old days, he often teamed up with The Cobra), who I always thought could have been used a lot better.

There are versions I don't like, too. No matter how much I love Alan Moore's stuff, I wasn't too keen on his version of Hyde in LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN (both the comics and the 2003 film version). While Hyde inspired the Hulk, he certainly doesn't need to be portrayed as an actual Hulk. Hyde's humanity is a big part of his appeal. The same goes for the equally monsterous version we saw in the awful VAN HELSING (2004). Hyde may be monstrous, but he isn't some giant muscular beast. That doesn't work for me at all.

I also wasn't a big fan of the recent BBC miniseries JEKYLL, where the title character was portrayed more like an evil twin than a separate identity. I didn't hate everything about it, but there was a lot there to irritate a hardcore fan of the original Jekyll and Hyde. I don't think all of the liberties taken with the characters were good ones and the modernized plot wasn't quite as clever as its writers thought it was.

And don't even get me started on the musical play of Jekyll and Hyde (did Andrew Lloyd Weber do that crap?). Let's hope they never film that one.

So there's a brief overview of Hyde through the ages. I must go and take my potion now. Anarchy awaits.

TRUE BLOOD

Well, I watched the first episode of Alan Ball's new series TRUE BLOOD on HBO last Sunday. Based on a series of novels by Charlaine Harris, the series focuses on Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), a waitress in Louisiana in a world where vampires have come "out of the coffin" and want to join mainstream society thanks to a synthetic blood product known as "tru blood" which makes it so they no longer have to drink the blood of the living.

At the heart of the series, though, is Sookie's romance with vampire Bill (Stephen Moyer), a pale, brooding guy who is her diner's first vampire customer, and who she takes to instantly, mainly because she's a telepath and can't read his mind (everyone else's thoughts assault her constantly, whether she likes it or not, and it's pretty exhausting).

I had a really mixed reaction to the first episode. There were some things I liked about it, and others that just made me wince. I've never been overly fond of the "vampire romance" genre (although between this series and the upcoming TWILIGHT movie, the genre is "alive" and well), and the whole "tru blood" thing seems a bit hokey (as do vampire fangs that pop out like switchblades). The equating vampires with other descriminated-against minorities seems a bit heavy-handed as well.

The acting was a mixed bag - the accents weren't always believable. And I'm not sure why we need Australian (Paquin) and British (Moyer) actors in a show about the South anyway. Aren't there enough good Southern actors who could have done just as good a job?

A whole "rough vampire sex" subplot was intriguing, as was the new black market business of "draining" vampires and selling their blood. Like I said, it's a mixed bag.

There's also one character - Tara - who I don't get at all. She was so thoroughly unlikable and unsympathetic in any way that I found myself wondering how someone so combative could even function in the outside world, much less have friends like Sookie.

And the constant "rush of telepathic voices" in Sookie's head, while understandable in the storyline, are annoying as hell (I know this is supposed to make us sympathize with Sookie's plight, but I see this getting tiresome fast).

The writing wasn't always the best, either. The dialogue bugged me at times - sometimes it just seemed incredibly lame. And some of the characters - like Tara - didn't seem all that believable.

But I'll keep watching and giving it a chance. There's enough about it that should keep me interested, for a little while anyway, and I'm willing to trust Alan Ball (who previously gave us the show SIX FEET UNDER and the movie AMERICAN BEAUTY). This seems like the kind of show that could get better with time and could really grow on me.

Who knows, maybe by the end of the season I'll be singing TRUE BLOOD's praises.

***

Not much else. I think I'm going to stop watching PRISON BREAK, just because the storyline this season is just so boring. And the only character worth watching - Robert Knepper's T-Bag - just isn't on screen enough to save it. Which is too bad. T-Bag just added a new crime to his rap sheet this season (cannibalism), and it would be nice if the show could regain its former glory.

But that just doesn't seem to be in the cards.

I missed the first episode of J.J. Abrams' new show FRINGE, but I plan to start watching, starting with this week's episode. Although the idea of another show that's similar to THE X-FILES doesn't exact thrill me. I hope Abrams and the gang can at least put an interesting spin on the idea.

***

And SWINGTOWN ended its brief summer season. This CBS series was one of my favorite TV shows in a long time. I really hope it gets renewed, but I know that's a long shot for a show introduced by a network during the summer months.

But man, was that a good show.

20 YEARS

Today is Laura and my 20th wedding anniversary.

Twenty years with the same woman. WTF?

Yes, it is possible.

Happy anniversary, baby.

"KILLER" KOWALSKI - RIP

Sure, wrestling is fake and it's all showbiz. But now so more than ever. It's all calculated, scripted, and like an ongoing soap opera. A lot of these guys and gals even go on to become legit actors (well, I don't know how "legit" they are, but a lot of them have been appearing in big budget Hollywood movies).

In the old days, it wasn't like that. Wrestling was just as goofy and fake, but it had a much more B-movie feel to it. Like an Ed Wood flick. There was also more of a raw edge to it, so that it didn't seem quite so glamorous and controlled. Back in the 1970s when I was a tyke watching this stuff, there actually seemed like something could go wrong, and that the blood was real. A lot of times, it probably was.

"Killer" Kowalski was one of the chief embodiments of this old style wrestling. He died this weekend at age 81. But man, was he a nut.

Like how he got his name. He originally was Walter "Tarzan" Kowalski until his big bout in 1954 fighting Yukon Eric in Montreal. During the match, Mr. Kowalski's shin met Yukon's ear, severing it from his head.

**** (from the Boston Globe)****
"I thought I missed him," Mr. Kowalski, of Malden, told the Boston Globe in 1991, "but my shinbone grazed his cheek. His ear went flying right across the ring. All that was left was the lobe. The referee was yelling at me, saying, 'We disallowed that move,' but I was watching the blood squirting out of his head. Every time his heart would beat, more blood would squirt."
At the next week's match, fans heckled Mr. Kowalski. They threw garbage at him, calling him an animal and a killer. The name stuck.

***
In an era when my wrestling heroes were George "The Animal" Steele, Chief J. Strongbow, Haystack Calhoun, the Iron Sheik, and Bruno Samartino, Killer Kowalski was a man among men.

I outgrew that stuff a long time ago and haven't watched wrestling in years. But I still remember this dude fondly. He was the real deal.


8/31/08