THIS MODERN NIGHTMARE

LAID TO REST

Well, the funeral for my buddy Jim was yesterday. From what I hear, he's going to be cremated and then the urn will be bured somewhere private. Which is similar to my own plans, so I totally get it.

The wake lasted four hours on Sunday. At least it was a closed coffin. I think it would have been a hundred times worse if it was open. Toward the end, Jim was just skin and bones and looked nothing like the way we all remember him.

It's hard to say good-bye, and even harder to believe that he's not going to call me some night and want to talk about comic books or movies. I was just used to hearing from the guy. Before he got sick, we used to email each other back and forth several times every single day. We had a lot of the same interests, from comics to old movies (especially horror and comedies), we even had a lot of the same thoughts about politics and religion. Nobody, except for my wife, knows me that well.

For example, the Complete Little Rascals ame out on DVD this week. If I told Jim, he'd probably be as excited about it as I am. And he'd probably get a copy too. I don't know anyone else who would be excited about that news. And who the fuck is left to talk to about silent movies?

Oh, one cool bit of news. The book that Nick Cato and I are editing for Novello Publishers - DARK JESTERS - is going to be dedicated to Jim. Which is very cool, and very fitting, since it's a collection of humorous horror stories - which Jim would have probably dug.

Jim's wife, Lisa, seems to be staying strong, but I can't imagine what she's going through. He was just such a nice guy - probably the closest I can think of to a bonafide saint - that there's this huge vacuum in his absence. This was really proven by the turnout at his wake and funeral. Over 100 people showed up, between relatives, friends, co-workers, students (he taught kung fu and tai chi at the local Boys and Girls Club), etc. Just about everyone who knew this guy was touched by an upbeat, goofy guy who was always laughing and smiling, and who stayed upbeat throughout everything.

Jim was like Jekyll to my Hyde. I'm probably everything he wasn't, yet somehow we had a strong connection. I'll be lucky if three people show up at my funeral. LOL

Well, on with life. Although the world's a little worse now without Jim Lavoie.

GOODBYE, JIM

Man, it sucks to say goodbye.

In my previous post I wrote about how helpless it felt to visit a comatose friend in the hospital. Well, Jim Lavoie died at 8am on Thursday, October 23rd. And to say he will be missed is an understatement.

I first met this guy back in fifth grade. We were both into monsters and horror movies (obviously, that never changed) and I remember he had some monster trading cards. I gave him some money to pick me up some, since they weren't being sold near me. Who knew this simple act would lead to a friendship that lasted over 35 years.

Jim was my longest and closest friend. Since I was an only child, Jim was the closest thing I ever had to a brother. In a lot of ways, we were probably closer than some real brothers. He was one of the nicest guys I ever knew, and I probably busted his chops more than anyone over the years. Somehow he put up with me.

We were both into horror and comics and I remember him being just as excited as I was when the original issues of WATCHMEN came out. We'd talk in depth about each one after it came out. And I'm bummed he won't be able to see the movie version.

He was the guy I could talk to about all this goofy stuff I'm into - and he shared my enthusiasm. I also knew I could turn to him for advice whenever I needed it. Now that is a gap I can't really replace. He was incredibly supportive of my writing - reading everything I put out and offering really well thought out comments afterwards. And he could always make me laugh.

We were friends throughout out childhoods. As adults, we grew even closer. Which makes this all the tougher.

Here's his obituary:

James P. Lavoie, age 45, died Thursday, October 23, 2008 at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. He was the beloved husband of Lisa Marie (Clark) Lavoie, formerly of Palmer. He was born in New Bedford, March 3, 1963, the son of Philip and Irene (Senez) Lavoie of Dartmouth. Jim grew up in Dartmouth and graduated from Dartmouth High School. He continued his education at Southeastern Massachusetts University, receiving a degree in Marine Biology. He earned his Ph.D. in Food Science from the University of MA, Amherst. He worked for 8 years at Welch's Technology Center in Billerica as a Senior Research Scientist. Jim was Sifu of Wu Tan Chinese Martial Arts and taught Tai Chi at the North Suburban YMCA in Woburn for many years. He was an avid surfer who enjoyed surfing the New England waters all four seasons. Besides his wife and parents he is survived by his two loving daughters, Marie Elizabeth Lavoie, age 7, and Kayla Lynn Lavoie, age 5, his brothers and sister-in-law, David Lavoie of Dartmouth, and Steven and his wife Julie of Dartmouth, his sister and brother-in-law, Theresa Moniz and her husband Michael of Acushnet, his 7 nieces and nephews, Daniel, Ryan, and Katherine McDonald of Westminster, Thomas and Shaun Lavoie of Rochester, and Ma and Peter and Haley Moniz of Acushnet.

***

Jim, you died way too soon. And you'll be missed.

FEELING COMPLETELY HELPLESS

My best friend is in a coma. Or rather he's "unresponsive" (which I guess is the same thing). He's been struggling with cancer for about a year now (two years before that, he lost a kidney and then went into remission. We thought that was the last of it. It wasn't). He's been having a really rough time of it, trying different treatments and pretty much suffering through it, but there was always some hope he'd bounce back. Now, that seems like a long shot. I'm gonna go see him today. The saddest part is it's his daughter's fifth birthday today.

I met him in like fifth grade (I guess we were 10) and this is the guy I used to trade monster magazines with and comic books. I remember him getting just as excited as me when Alan Moore started writing Swamp Thing, and when Watchmen came out. He also read all my stuff when it came out, and was very supportive of my writing.

I was an only child, and he was the closest I'll ever have to a brother. We've been there for each other all our adult lives. He was also one of the strongest guys I know. He was just about to get his grand master title in the style of kung fu he's been doing (and teaching) for years. He used to be in excellent shape, until the disease took care of that.

It just sucks to feel so helpless.